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Co-parenting Can Get Easier

Grit and intentional commitment -these two attributes are a must-have if you want to be an excellent co-parenting mom. 

Many co-parenting relationships hit the rocks due to unresolved conflicts and inconsistencies. This negative narrative about co-parenting scares many moms and no one wishes for the experience.

However, life does happen. And when it does bring co-parenting challenges our way, we need to find ways to excel regardless, especially for the sake of our kids. In this article, we’ll discuss ways to maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship that will benefit our well-being and our children.

8 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Co-parenting Relationship

1. Communicate Effectively

Effective communication is instrumental in every relationship. As a co-parenting mom, you need to discuss ideas and concerns with your co-parent. Communicate the concerns and needs of your child to your partner and create room for feedback. When you receive feedback, address it and revert with results.

Also, don’t just communicate, make the deliberate effort to actively listen and attend to the concerns of your child and partner. Avoid shifting blame and unnecessary criticism between your co-parent.

Understand that, the purpose of communication is to set the right tone for easy running of affairs that benefit your child, so make the effort.

2. Prioritize Consistency

As mentioned earlier, intentional commitment is one key attribute of excellent co-parenting.  But here is the trick: the real substance of commitment is consistency. Consistency is what makes commitment intentional. Be consistent with communication, meetings, appointments, and schedules.

To maintain consistency, here are a few tips:

• Establish a routine, that helps in using time judiciously.
• Avoid setting conflicting rules
• Learn to schedule and share your schedule.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

To avoid co-parenting issues, it is important to set clear boundaries between both parents and your child. Set relevant rules that govern your relationship, and highlight your dos and don’ts.

• Assign clear roles and responsibilities.
• Establish a co-parenting plan to direct you both.

As much as setting boundaries is important, it shouldn’t be overdone. Flexibility and adaptability help in maintaining healthy co-parenting relationships. We’ll look at that in the next point.

4. Be Flexible and Adaptable

You need to make room for adjustments and be ready to adapt to changes. In co-parenting, being conservative and rigid causes problems. As a mom, develop the mindset of adapting to changes gracefully and being flexible when necessary.

• Be ready to adjust plans and schedules when need be
• Be open to compromise when it’s for the good of your child

5. Show Respect and Empathy

Mutual respect is a major contributor to maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship. How would you feel if your co-parent disregarded your opinions and efforts?  Or, how would you take being disrespected in the presence of your child by them?

However, you’ll feel it gives a clue of how your co-parent will feel too if the tables turned. Many broken co-parenting relationships are so because of disrespect. 

Here is how you can change the narrative:

• Show appreciation and gratitude
• Respect and show value for the contribution of the other parent
• Acknowledge and make room for their weaknesses or challenges

6. Manage Conflict Effectively

Conflicts are inevitable. What makes the difference is the right conflict management skills.

Here are some conflict management tips: 

• Avoid blaming and pointing fingers
• Focus on finding a solution
• Stay composed and don’t prolong confrontations

7. Prioritize Your Child’s Well-being

Dear mom, your child is at the center of the whole co-parenting situation. Sometimes, there is the temptation to put your interests first as a parent, making decisions that benefit you instead of your child’s well-being.

Whenever you catch yourself  losing focus, remind yourself of the reason for your co-parenting journey and your child’s well-being

• Avoid using the child as a pawn in conflicts
• Make decisions that benefit the child
• Consider your child’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being

8. Seek Help When Needed

Always seek help. There is safety in seeking assistance in areas you fall short in. 

Good counsel and the support of family and friends who are concerned about you play a pivotal role in harnessing healthy relationships. You need it too!

• Reach out to friends, family, and if you can afford, a therapist
• Find and join co-parenting support community
• Seek counseling from the people who matter. 

Bonus Tips

In addition to the tips given above, here are a few more tips to take your co-parenting relationship to the next level.

Ditch Malice: Malice can have detrimental consequences on your relationship if you let it. It can be toxic. For the sake of your child’s well-being, ditch malice.  Don’t let grudges go unresolved. If you choose to not resolve them, then embrace forgiveness.

Embrace Forgiveness: Practice letting sleeping dogs lie. After you resolve matters, actually forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t benefit only your co-parent;  forgiveness is for your heart. Embracing forgiveness helps you to keep sane for your child’s well-being. It can be difficult, but you can do it.

Don’t play the “hero”: There is the temptation to make your child see you as the best parent, especially if they spend the most time with you. Avoid doing that. Do your best as the mom, and when they realize your worth, they will give you your flowers.

Play the adult:  Good news! There is room to play the adult. It simply means being the mature one. In all circumstances, put to work the tips necessary to avoid chaos.

Be present: Sometimes we can get caught up in the chaos of work, personal life, and family life such that we miss the things that are right before us. We can miss incredible moments like the first step of our kids, remarkable statements they make, and others.

Be intentional about being present. Being present can help you identify the challenges of your child and co-parent.

Conclusion

Maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship is not easy, but you can do it. Every little adjustment you make with your child’s well-being in mind is a step in the right direction.

Going through your co-parenting journey with the mindset to thrive wouldn’t only benefit you but it will set a good foundation for your child to thrive too.

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